Typing this slightly drunk at 3:30 but I still think this blog post title reflects my ability to come up with bullshit thesis essay titles, a very useful skill in high school.
This summer, I experienced proper heartbreak for the first time. While I still feel like shit about it and may constantly been questioning my self worth, I feel like I’ve become more focused on my scripts.
I am currently working on three different scripts and I noticed I give them more WAY more attention than I would have freshman year and I truly believe that it’s due to my emotional well being.
Last year, I was a carefree just arrived in New York young kid ready to cause as much havoc as possible. The transition from that to an aspiring working professional with a healthy social life (aka the Perfect human being) has been going anything less than smooth.
As much as this time has been hurtful, tumultuous and aggravating, it coincides with evolution of my scripts and work ethic. Whenever I plan a project now, the process seems less intimidating in my head and I am excited to give each movie the extra care and concern it deserves. IF I’m not having a successful love life, at least I’m setting myself up for a successful filming year.
It really all comes down to acknowledging that just because one part of my life isn’t working out doesn’t mean that other parts of my life can’t work out either. (It’s also a big step in the whole paranoia/manic depressive nonsense) The script writing is a great outlet for the constant confusion and desperateness I feel in life and if that translates into interesting stories, that’s something powerful.
Maybe one day I’ll be able to succeed at both career and personal but for now, having one is better than having none.